On Letting Go
When children grow and have control over their body and language, the most common thing that occurs is power struggles as they learn to oppose your authority. As they grow and are able to do things by themselves, children may refuse to listen to you.
Every parent gets frustrated when a child refuses to listen. This attitude can be a way for kids to express their need for more control and decide for themselves, or you need to find an easier way to communicate with them.
It does not suggest that you allow your kids to take control. You can try a few ways to make them listen to you. You can give your children some control within certain boundaries.
Here are five ways you can get your kids to listen to you:
Get on their level. Some kids may require that you get their attention before they respond to an instruction. You may have to make eye contact with them. Eye contact is a great way to improve communication and get someone’s attention.
When you make eye contact with them, you can verify if your child is hearing or listening to what you are saying. Strengthen the communication as well.
For instance, you may stop whatever you are doing, ask them to sit with
you, or squat to their level instead of shouting orders from a distance.
Stay calm. Children feel unsafe when their parents get upset with them. So, to defend themselves, they become less attentive. Try to stay calm when getting your message across. Instead of complaining about why they don’t listen to
you, get your kids to wake up early and get to school on time.
Try to stay calm while helping them understand the need to do everything on time and how it will benefit everyone. This way, you can have good and effective communication while finding w solutions rather than getting angry.
Say thank you in advance. When we have reasonable expectations of our kids, we encourage them to live up to them. Everyone likes to know someone sees positively in them or when others believe in them.
So if you let your child know you trust them to do the right thing, it will develop open communication and strengthen their likelihood of completing their task.
For instance, say “thank you for washing the dishes” instead of, “you better not leave your plates there.” It will encourage them toward good behavior.
Shorten your speech. Remember, you don’t need to make everything a speech. Sometimes a firm and brief response will do the trick. Having a long explanation of who did what was wrong and who did not listen will make your kids turn a
deaf ear.
But being as concise as possible may stop your kids from intentionally tuning out and not listening to you.
Try saying yes more often. Now, before jumping to conclusions, let’s talk about what I mean by this. Most times, we say no to our kids when they ask for so many things, especially if they keep asking for something they won’t get.
But when you say “no,” at any chance, your kids will stop listening to your requests! Find a nice way of saying no and getting them to listen.
Instead of saying, “No, we can’t go buy ice cream today,” try, “you want
your favorite ice cream.” Let’s get it right after family time. How does that
sound?
This way, you said no to their requests but in a better way to get them to
listen. There will still be circumstances that require you to say a hard “no,”
but by giving more “yeses,” you’ll improve the chances of your kids
listening to you.
Getting your kids to listen to you is not a way to control or manipulate them but instead to help them make fewer mistakes and protect them. Be patient with them and trust that they will do their best to listen to you.